Perla is experiencing a burnout. Perlos išmintijimai / thoughts by Perla

Only the last two years Perla was interested in psychoeducation a lot. She / they (Perla is a non-binary cat) understood that a medical system in Lithuania is living in its Procrustean bed and a has narrow worldview.

Couple of years ago she / they did not know what does burnout, meltdown and shutdown means. She / they did not know how to explain procrastination. She / they did not know that even mood swings can be explained by the periods of autistic burnouts, meltdowns and shutdowns. She / they did not know that burnouts, as well as meltdowns and shutdowns can be not only the sign of depression (or opposite). She / they did not know what does it mean to be a neurodivergent.

She / they did not know that psychiatrists misdiagnosed her / them a long time ago, misdiagnosed at a very hard time for Perla after terrible losses, when she / they were experiencing a severe burnout.

That’s why a medical system in Lithuania seems to me like helpless and living in a soviet times of Procrustean syndrome.

…

But yes, why Perla personally is experiencing a burnout?

After a constant stress she / they are experiencing for last few months (even years). Stress, constant stress, lack of understanding, terrible debts, lots of responsibilities – everything were affecting Perla. And of course - the losses. Losses of dear people, family, friends.

How that burnout looked (looks) for Perla? She / they are feeling like frozen and numb, all actions as well as reactions are slowed down, it is hard to perform any exercise. Perla is experiencing a detachment from everyone, she / they even do not want to be on social media, does not want to communicate by phone. Every sound (especialy city's noise) are disturbing her / them terribly. She / they are experiencing a big procrastination as well…

Apparently a burnout is common to neurodivergent people (autistic people and those who have ADHD). Autistic and ADHD burnout are both characterized by pervasive, long-term exhaustion, loss of function, and increased difficulties with managing daily tasks. 

Primary Characteristics of Neurodivergent Burnout

• Chronic Exhaustion: Persistent, deep fatigue that doesn’t improve with rest.
• Reduced Tolerance to Stimuli: Heightened sensitivity to sensory inputs, such as light, sound, and touch.
• Increased Executive Functioning Challenges: Greater difficulties in planning, organizing, remembering, and managing daily tasks.
• Loss of Skills: Deterioration in executive functioning, which includes difficulties in thinking, remembering, planning, performing basic self-care, and managing daily activities.

Apparently there are possibilities to overcome burnouts. Perla needs to know about it as well:

Burnout Recovery

Recovery depends on the person and the specific causes. For a more prolonged season of burnout, a person may need to significantly restructure their lifestyle and remove themselves from the causes of their burnout. It may become more difficult to recover the older a person is. Following are some of my go-to tips for recovering from burnout:

• Attend to the sensory! Moving in ways that feel natural and good, reducing sensory load, engaging in sensory activities that are restorative⁠
• Spend time unmasked (again, masking is consistently one of the highest predictors of burnout). ⁠
• Ensure appropriate accommodations are in place (at school, work, etc.). ⁠
• Practicing good boundaries in relationships (we have fewer spoons). ⁠
• Engage in activities that are enlivening (special interests, passions, time alone, or with those whom you can safely unmask). ⁠
• Support healthy rhythms by prioritizing healthy sleep hygiene, routines, & practices. ⁠

(https://neurodivergentinsights.com/autism-and-adhd-burnout/?srsltid=AfmBOor_X5rFs-o8SyTTQORienDBP30pcslLtAVyjl1acGVRqYMk7UNh)

And Perla has created a poem dedicated to burnout(s):

A Phoenix dies where flames once roared,
A heavy heart, a soul ignored.
The mind, a cage of distant speed,
Sowing a bitter, anxious seed.

A pulse that races, shallow air,
A silent scream of deep despair.
The world demands, the voices loud,
Lost in the noise, a lonely crowd.

The fire within, now ashes grey,
No strength to push, no words to say.
Each task a mountain, steep and high,
Beneath the weight, I long to fly.

A hollow self, an empty shell,
Trapped in this self-made, silent hell.
The spark is gone, the passion dim,
Drowning slowly, reaching the brim.

But in the quiet, a whisper small,
A tiny strength to stand up tall.
To find the peace, to breathe again,
And slowly start to heal the pain.

And I want to end with the words from BE HERE by PALAYE ROYALE:

I dont wanna live this way

I dont wanna be here anymore

I cant live with this pain

I just wanna feel something more

Everytime you walk away

And everytime I numb my pain

I dont wanna live this way

I dont wanna be here anymore (x5)

Dont go my love

Dont call my bluff

Dont go my love (X3)